Remember Eating humble pie a la mode? Welcome to Part 2: The death of a salesman ~ a journey of letting go.
I love Carol Burnett’s quote, “Comedy is tragedy plus time.”
She must have experienced a lot of tragedy because she is a comedic genius, and one of my all time favorites. She reminds me that over time, all things can be looked at with fresh perspective.
The death of a salesman ~ the journey of letting go, is my story. A story about personal growth, insight and humility. A story that proves that to become who we are meant to be, sometimes we have to let go of who we thought we were.
Throughout our lives we make many decisions; we decide what we like, what we think others like or want from us, and we decide how we want the world to perceive us. Whether or not we are conscious of these choices, our lives end up being a culmination of these decisions.
For me, I decided if I reached out to others enough, talked to anyone about anything enough, stirred the pot enough…the world would not see the frightened, insecure little girl I really was.
As a result, I was often referred to as a natural born sales person. Have you heard the saying, “You could sell ice to a polar bear?” This was said to me most of my life. It didn’t make sense to me early on, but as I began to make my way in the world, I started to understand why everyone said it. It was very hard for people to say NO to me. It was either through my relentless persistence or my persuasive enthusiasm. I had a knack for moving people.
It was not surprising that after years of career choices, I found myself in a professional sales setting. It was not easy leaving a warm and cozy career in massage therapy (where I was loved and revered for my Midas touch), to work in the typically cold, rejection-laden career of sales. Who wants to be told NO 80% of their day? It was a big change for me…luckily I’ve always loved a challenge!
At first sales felt more like a wrestling match, and most of the time I felt like a construction worker hammering away day-by-day trying to build something recognizable.
It seemed the harder I “pushed”, the world pushed back even harder.
When you have to make a sale to feed your family, it can put some intense unnatural pressure on the situation.
The pushy, know-it-all, hard-of-hearing, over-bearing, it’s-all-about-me, are just a few attributes of the typical sales person. There is a reason that sales people gets such a bad rap…we’ve earned it.
I was determined not to be like that. I was a real sales professional, one that asked questions, truly cared about the needs of others, wanted to provide a valuable service, and truly help where help was needed. This is the foundation of my training. It is what continues to inspire me to keep going when the going gets tough.
While much of my expression came from a true place, the typical sales person still lived and breathed inside me, rearing her ugly little head when I least expected it…or perhaps it was on-demand. GULP.
The unfortunate part about the pushy, know-it-all, hard-of-hearing, over-bearing, it’s-all-about-me sales personality, is it was hard to contain. It seeped into all areas of my relationships like a rogue virus. Destroying wonderful opportunities.
On one hand I was craving intimate and authentic relationships, but I had this fire-breathing dragon guarding the gate of my true self—holding me hostage. Have you ever felt like that? Where something inside makes you feel like a phony?
I knew it was time to make a change.
While my journey to this decision was challenging—mainly because I could not see the real issue—when I was faced with the truth, it was clear what I needed to do. The decision was even easier as I looked into the eyes of my 3-year-old daughter who watches my every move. I wanted her to know me…the true me, and it’s important that I model authenticity for her. Mothering Everleigh is my greatest privilege—and a responsibility I take seriously and joyfully.
Making sustainable changes takes effort. It starts with an honest recognition and a decision to release the past and move on. For me the time to let go had come, this facade has gone on long enough. My dual personality that had blocked me from experiencing meaning and connection had to pass away.
It was with pure humility and joy that I lay the typical salesman in me down to rest. More was calling, and it was time to answer that call.
My first thought was, “What will come to replace all that space inside of me?”
My second thought was, “Ahhhhh…love and acceptance!”
While there is still some residue and scar tissue to work through, I welcome the death of the pushy, know-it-all, hard-of-hearing, over-bearing, it’s-all-about-me typical sales personality. With every letting go comes the space for something new. What will I draw on now when the rubber hits the road? Thankfully life is a process and the answers will come if I am open to them.
The death of a salesman ~ a journey of letting go is just the beginning. I have been blessed with the leadership and training of true professional sales; and now, thankfully, I’m in an honorable place, so the caring, kind, and giving person I am can come through the sales process and all other areas of my life.
What keeps you from being who you truly are? Perhaps this post can inspire you to make the changes that will bring you closer to YOU. I’m sure you are just as loveable as ME! If you did not see my strategy post to make lasting changes, check it out here.
Just for the health of it!