Today’s post comes from my dear friend Don Adlam from Down Under. He has helped many couples and individuals dramatically change their experience of life and love. You can enjoy the benefits of his gifts too. He offers his brilliance to the US via Skype. I know you will enjoy his post today and make sure you have an authentic Valentine’s Day!
I’m all for the celebration of, and indeed immersion in, the wondrous, rapturous experience of deep love. Of unbounded, unassailable joy in the other, to the point where there is no other, no self, only love itself.
And why wouldn’t we want to celebrate something so glorious? Celebrations are great ways to remind us of wonderful events or processes.
For most of us, immersion in profound soulful or spiritual love is rare and fleeting. This apparent scarcity imbues it with value and desirability. We can find ourselves chasing our tails, trying to recapture that which is always present, but unattainable in the chasing.
Let me expand, or not, it’s up to you.
With most, (I would suggest, all) aspects of our experience there are two sides to every coin. Many millions who are in, or hoping to start a relationship, thoroughly enjoy Valentine’s Day. They like to pay special attention to their beloved, and their beloved to them.
It may however be hell for those whose loved one doesn’t pay them that special attention they are expecting (refer to my previous entry, Don’t Expect The Dog To Set The Table).
Many others, who are not in relationships, may be left feeling alone and isolated. We’ve all been there at some point, haven’t we? It’s one of the few global celebrations that exclude a large part of the population.
This Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to do it a bit differently, you could make it a day of true celebration whether you are in relationship or not.
I’m not saying do away with the flowers and nice dinner out. Rather, perhaps we don’t need the twenty-three dozen red roses resting on the bed of finest silks, with 17 Tibetan Lamas chanting the Heart Sutra in Klingon, and the … you get my drift!
But, maybe sitting in front of the telly in your PJs saying, it’s all rubbish, designed to milk losers of all their hard earned cash, as you plough your way through another no-heart-ache Cake and another BIG bottle of Happy Pop, is not the way to go either.
Whether you spend Valentine’s Day with yourself or someone genuinely special, take some time to contemplate love, to feel into your heart, right there in your chest, right now.
Within yourself, hold your beloved, your distant or passed loved ones…simply take a breath all the way into your heart…feel the life giving air—a blessed gift in itself—as it passes over your top lip, into your nostrils, down your throat, into your lungs, and diffuses into your heart.
Now feeling your heart, fully, deeply…simply noticing the feel state that was just waiting for your awareness to visit.
Notice how, if you allow your eyes to simply rest behind their lids…you may even find yourself dissolving into love. You are not separate from it. It is the source and the goal of your everyday love for your lover, your cat, the Mets…whoever. These are simply sources/targets of this love.
So let’s celebrate this Valentine’s Day with a new depth, and genuine connectedness to love, a new depth, and breadth, and breath. If not for the whole day, maybe just for a small part of it.
A bit grandiose? In the pristine beauty that abounds and abides, perhaps not.(Don has been around for 60 years, 20 of those have been spent serving others. He works with individuals, couples, families and groups as a “life-nutritionist”. Don’s dined on a broad feast of life’s offerings; digesting those experiences which have nourished, and putting aside those which have not. Much of his work has been done with his beloved wife Melinda, and hence he specializes in relationship issues, but also assists clients in overcoming abuse, dependencies, and expanding emotional awareness. They enjoy their life in Adelaide with the koalas, possums, and Rupert the cat. You can learn more about him here.)
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Let love radiate…
just for the health of it!